Vitamin and Supplement over-load!

I'm a preventative maintenance person when it comes to my health.  I am constantly reading and researching vitamins and supplements that I would benefit from but I tend to go a little over-board!  I have a small shelf in my pantry with all of them sitting there, so innocently with their little index fingers calling to me! (see pic, they reside beside some hurricane prep cans, the shelf is pretty deep, hard to see just how many bottles are there)

I have made a promise to myself to finish the majority of them...because I have paid for them, not because I feel like they have benefited me in any way.  Have you ever done that?  Bought a vitamin or supplement, take them for awhile and then they sit forever on a shelf and you eventually throw them out because you figure they finally got too old?  I have started putting them in the little 7 day planner and am taking them daily with the intent of completing them and throwing the EMPTY bottles away.  I'm whittling them down to a few that I know I will benefit from, like a good multi-vitamin for women over 50 from GNC, turmeric, krill oil, probiotic, and D3. I have quite a bit of excess to go through but I'm not worried that when I do finish them, my body will be lacking anything if I don't buy more because I really don't feel like they are doing anything for me.  I DO intend to ADD a CTFO product called Super 7 which is a fruit chew that has 7 super fruits in them for amazing immune boosting power.  I am adding this because I know I don't get enough fruit in my system and want a good daily boost for my immune system since  winter is approaching and I normally get taken down by the flu.

As a side note, today is day 16 of my miracle mornings and this is one of the goals I've made for myself as I work through creating the life that I want!

Make promises to YOURSELF and KEEP them!  They are the most important promises you can make because as we all know, if we don't take care of ourselves, we can't take care of the ones we love!

Musings of a modern day mamaw.

Personal 30 Day Challenge

I don't know about you but I don't care for the 30 day fitness challenges.  They stress me out just thinking of them. ~shiver~ But I DO like making a personal challenge just for me!  I am accountable to myself and no one else. That being said, I have started a 30 Day Challenge and am 4 days in.  It involves waking up during the week at 5:00 a.m. and about 7:00 a.m. on the weekends.  There are no "free" days because I am trying to form a habit and if I skip days, I'll never create the habit.  It is a personal commitment to change the way I think and feel to create the life I want to lead. 

I had purchased a book on my Kindle, but I have no idea how long ago I did.  I had finished the book I had been reading and thumbing through my Kindle and when I saw the name of the book I was instantly intrigued!  When I opened it, it was apparent that I had begun reading it but for whatever reason, never finished.  This is not like me, I always finish a book, even if I don't care for it, it's just something I've always done.  

So I started reading it again and right off the bat, this book spoke to me! I have been reading and listening to podcasts and having conversations with a friend that falls right along with the lessons in this book so I committed to finishing it this time.  The author has a 30 Day Challenge so when I finished the book, I took his guideline and began my own.

The name of the book is "The Miracle Morning" by Hal Elrod and is about what highly successful people do in the morning to set the tone for the rest of their day. It involves the power of attraction and affirmations and creating the life you've always wanted by simply changing the way you think!

The premise is to "re-set" your subconscious mind, to live and think as if the things you want in your life are already there and how you would look and feel if you already had them.

The guideline is called Life S.A.V.E.R.S. -
S - Silence - after getting up, splashing my face with water and drinking alot of water to wake up, I sit and follow a meditation app for about 5 minutes. This is hard for me as my mind goes in a million different directions so I am training myself to stay focused on the present moment, listening to a guided meditation.
A - Affirmations - I have written several affirmations about weight loss and another page about wealth and I read through them, focusing on each word and believe them to be true, over and over for about 5 minutes. 
V - Visualization - I have printed pictures and positive quotes for things I want in my life and envision what it would look and feel like if I already had them.
E - Exercise - (I do this one last just before I get in the shower) 5 - 10 min is what I dedicate to this for now.
R - Read - I am reading a book called "The Magic of Circlework" and I read for about 10 minutes.
S - Scribing _ (it just means writing) I have never "journaled" so I am learning this and what I have been writing is whatever comes to mind, I do this for about 5 minutes.

That is it - it's just quiet time for me with no distractions, I am drinking more water as I do these things, trying to get at least 20 ounces down before  I'm done.

I am just 4 days into my challenge and am very proud that I stayed committed even through this weekend.  Each one of these things are simple yet hard at the same time as I am training my mind to stay in the present moment and not wonder around aimlessly, I am a plan ahead sort of person so I always run through "what-if" situations just so I'm prepared....which is just a waste of time and mind-space.

I have already seen slight changes in relationships and other areas in my life, I know it's making a difference and that keeps me motivated!  

Find something you can do in your life and create your own 30 Day Challenge...why not?  What else have you got to do? LOL!

Musings of a modern day Mamaw.

New Wellness Journey

So I started this new wellness journey, if you know me at all, you know I'm always looking for natural alternatives for better health.  I fought tooth and nail when they put me on blood pressure and cholesterol medicine...I didn't like all of the side effects. They would put me on something and I'd take it for awhile and take myself off.  Well I had been off for several years and started having issues so I went back to the doc and he asked me why I quit taking the meds. "I don't like all the side effects!"  He gave me the strangest look and said, "Well don't you think the side effects of a stroke are a little more serious?"  Damn it man!  Soooo, I'm taking the crap and they just gave me an additional blood pressure med because my pressure was staying high....GREAT!

So I started looking AGAIN, for something natural that would help and hopefully get me off this junk forever!  I found CBD oil!  It is made from the hemp plant...but don't get too excited...it doesn't have THC in it so I don't feel high (darn it) I've been hearing about it alot lately so I thought I would give it a try.  I signed up with a company called CTFO which means "Changing The Future Outcome" (I kinda like that) where you sign up as an Independent Consultant so you can sell it yourself.  It didn't cost anything to sign up and they didn't ask me for any payment info so I thought the risk was low.  

CBD has been known to support healthy blood sugar levels, promote healthy energy levels (which I need badly!!) relieve anxiety, aid in digestion, support optimal immune function,regeneration of healthy cells (that's why it's good for people suffering through cancer) and can help to promote a sense of serenity and overall well-being...and let's face it....who doesn't need that these days?

You and I both know products don't work the same for everyone, I've tried all sorts of energy pills and drinks and nothing gives me the slightest bit more.  I have been using this now, morning and night, for one week and I sleep sooo much better and soundly (just ask hubby!) and have started to realize I am more alert and aware at work.  I am usually so tired and dragging my ass that it's hard to stay focused and perform at my best.  This is very important in my 9-5 as I am in the mortgage industry...time-crunches, number crunching and documentation gathering...I have to keep several balls in the air at one time and uber-multi-task and direction changing all day long!  That change alone makes it worth it for me, but what I am most interested in is the internal changes it should be making. I don't have chronic pain so it will be hard for me to tell what it is doing for me internally, but what I am watching for is sustained energy, so I can keep pushing through all day, keeping a clear head and not collapse as soon as I get home and be worthless for the rest of the night.

Now I have menopause working against me so it's like swimming upstream.  So I know if I start to see a difference in me....it's GOTTA help someone else.

Since it cost me nothing to start my own business, I am becoming a product of the product so I have my own testimony to tell.  If you want to see if it helps you, what have you got to lose?  You try other things right?  This is just like walking into a store and picking up any natural supplement that you want to try.  You have to stay consistent and give it time to work, but WHAT IF?  

What if you DO notice a difference?  What if your pain is less than normal? What if your nausea after chemo treatments is relieved?  What if your muscle spasms and seizures/convulsions lessen?  What if you find more energy to help you through your day?  There are so many KNOWN benefits to using CBD oil, why wouldn't you give it a try to see if it helps you too?

Yes, you can walk into a store these days and purchase right off the shelf, but I BELIEVE that since CTFO doesn't have a brick and mortar store, they can put that money back into research and development of the products and it means higher quality and better results.

I am doing this for me and mine and I believe it is going to give us better quality of life, after all, none of us are getting younger and no one gets out of here alive!  So why not TRY something that just might help you enjoy the time you do have?  

Musings of a modern day mamaw.

Email me at:  wellnessjunkie4u@gmail.com
Website:  www.debbstf62.myctfocbd.com
Opportunity:  www.debbstf62.myctfocbd.com/cbd

Don't mess with a Doe

I'll never forget the day...

So we have some acreage and hubby and I have a path that we like to walk.  Over the years, our dogs have recognized our movements when we decide to go for a walk, even if it's been awhile since we did it.  When we put our tennis shoes on...that does it.  They jump and bark and squeal and can't wait to get on the path!

A few years ago, we were headed down the path and Zip had joined us as usual.  He will stay with us until he sees, hears or smells something interesting in the trees or tall grass and then he takes off to explore!

We had rounded the corner at the front of the property when all of the sudden we hear him barking like he's on to something so we stopped and turned around.  Well he had flushed out a Momma deer and she wasn't too happy about it.  We knew she had a baby laying between the trees at the front of the property somewhere but didn't think they would be there at that time of day.  It was right before dusk.

So he is chasing her towards the fence that they usually jump over and all of the sudden, Momma decided she had had enough of this short, stout, L-O-U-D little pest (and I'm sure she was familiar with him) and she stopped!  As we watched, she looked down at him as he barked at her, and she started chasing HIM!  Suddenly the fierce barking turned into crying and squealing like she was killing him!  With his tail tucked, he was a white and brown STREAK of fur coming right for us!  He wanted us to save him!  She had only taken a couple of steps towards him then turned and jumped over the fence but he thought she was hot on his trail!

Hubby and I were bent over, laughing so hard we were crying as Zip ran behind us for protection!  Our big, bad guard-dog had met his match!

He THINKS he's Billy-Bad-Ass, but let whatever he is chasing, turn towards him and he runs for the hills!  

Don't mess with a Doe!

Musings of a modern day Mamaw.

With this being Easter weekend, I took a walk down memory lane.  The earliest Easter I can remember, I was very sick.  The memory feels surreal, I was laying on a hard couch or loveseat in a room in our house where no one else was.  I remember hearing lots of noise and conversations...with 8 people in the house, it was never quiet.  I was very young and most likely in Kentucky or Tennessee.  I don't remember how I got there, I just remember waking up to a very weird smell and a crinkling sound coming from my chest.  Mama was checking a mustard plaster or something that she had spread on my chest and I think it was wax paper that she had covering it.  I must've had a high fever, the memory almost seems like a hallucination.  I think I dozed off again.  Then the next memory, I'm not sure if it's the same day or the next but it seems like it was AFTER Easter and I was taken outside to our barbeque grill.  When someone opened it, there was a Barbie doll in there for me.  The feeling I get from this memory is very strange, I'm thinking it was because I was so sick.  Mama had told me that once, when I was very young, I dehydrated and almost had to go to the hospital.  I wonder if this is that time.

When our kids were young, we didn't get them the traditional Easter baskets, we always got them a toy of some kind and had the candy in or around the toy.  I remember we had found these bats called Mondo bats that were plastic and shaped almost like a big funnel.  They would hit the ball with it and it made a loud, funny noise.  We had put the candy and little toys inside the bats and had them on the couch Sunday morning for the boys to find and play with.

We had big family gatherings with an Easter egg hunt at Pop and Granny's house.  All the nieces and nephews and Tyler and Wes had baskets that Granny always had for them and the adults would go hide the eggs and then open the front door and let them loose!  It was crazy, loud and hysterical funny to watch! 

Then when ours got older, they and their cousins were the ones that would hide the eggs as the younger cousins went out to find them.  

This year is going to be quiet, for the first time in years we aren't going to the family gathering and neither of our sons will be around so it will be just the 2 of us.  

So far....being empty-nesters isn't all it was cracked up to be.

Musings from a modern day Mamaw

Today is March 18th, two days from the first day of Spring and it was a beautiful day!  Looked, felt and smelled like a summer day.  I had been reading on my back porch, listening to the birds and windchimes in the background and I looked out into the yard and noticed how bright the sun was.  The thought went through my mind that I should be laying in the sun!  So I dropped my Kindle and ran to my room!  Threw my bikini on, grabbed a couple of beach towels, suntan oil spray and fixed a big bottle of water with lemon and cucumber slices and hit the the back door!  There was a pretty strong breeze and it felt fabulous because in just a few minutes, I was feeling the sun.

Once I got situated I started to daydream and took a walk down memory lane.  Almost every time I lay in the sun I remember days when I was in high school when during the summer, Mom and I would lay side by side on our lounge chairs in the back yard and soak up the sun.  She always used a hard little twist-up thing of cocoa butter and I can still remember the smell. 

Living in South Florida, she wore her bathing suit almost every day.  She had several different colors but the same cut, I remember a light green and white one and a coral and white one.  She was a little thick around the middle but she wore a two piece and had the most amazing legs!  She was such a beautiful woman and always had the perfect, golden tan.  She wore her nails long and took care of them herself, her favorite nail polish was Revlon, Fire Pearl.  It was a slightly pearlized darker hot pink and looked great on her with her tan.

We would lay there soaking up the sun until we started to get hot and then walk down the steps of the pool and swim down to the deep end and back.  Our dog always laid under one of our chairs and she would also walk into the pool, swim down to the deep end and back.  The three of us girls would then casually walk back up and out to our chairs, Mom and I would lay back down and Sandy would ZOOM 'round and 'round the back yard until she wore herself out and then would lay back down under our chair, waiting for our next swim.

Mom didn't drive at that time, I don't remember ever going anywhere with her, just her and I, so those moments in the sun, in the peace and quiet of a beautiful summer day, were our Mother/Daughter time, that and when she would let me sit in the bottom of her closet, trying on all of her high heels, she had so many, in colors to match different outfits, and I dreamt of one day being able to wear them.  My feet never did get big enough. 

The smell of Estee Lauder Youth Dew, Wrigley's Spearmint gum and leather and warm summer days....these are the things that make me feel like she is right beside me, happy, young and tan.

Musings of a modern day mamaw.

Mom and her first two daughters-in law.  Look at those legs!

Snapchat and my inner child!

So last night I was scrolling around on Facebook and Instagram, watching videos and whatnot and saw a few pics that friends had taken on Snapchat.  I hadn't been on Snapchat for awhile so I clicked over to see what was new and goofed around with some of the filters to see what they did...you know exactly what I mean right?  (most we don't save. 😁😁 )

I saw this cute one that someone had used to take a selfie with me over the weekend but I didn't realize that it was a voice changer!  OMG!  Did I have a ball with that?  Now mind you, I am home alone with no one else to hear what I say or do so I was WIDE open. LOL!  I like to imitate voices, not specific voices, just accents I guess I should say.  So I recorded this goofy, corny, southern accent saying off the wall stuff and sent a message to my hubby....knowing he would bust out laughing and wishing I was sitting there when he did!  He sends me a text that says, "You're not all there, that's funny! LOL" I was still watching it over and over and laughing my butt off and of course....I made another one!  I posted that one on fb and then watched it over and over about 6 times and let me tell you what...I was laughing so hard I was crying, I mean, loud, belly laughs...so much that it made my little dog nervous!  He ran up to me and put his paws up on my legs to see if I was okay and I was laughing so hard I really couldn't even talk to him.  By the time I made myself stop watching it because it was past my bedtime, my stomach muscles hurt, my nose was running and I needed to wipe the tears off my face!  

As I was getting ready for bed, I kept thinking about it but what I was thinking was...that was ME I was laughing at.  My silly self being funny and it was a blast!  I hadn't laughed like that in a long time and it felt good and happy!!  I had hesitated to post it on fb because...what would people think, right?  Then I felt so good and was having so much fun I just wanted someone else to enjoy it too, even at the cost of making me look silly. No, I was not drinking, it was just me, being spontaneous and silly.

At what point in our lives do we lose that childish nature?  That fun loving, silly, spontaneous, goofy side of ourselves that we used to be?  As a child, you just react, you do or say whatever crosses your mind and don't worry about what people think.  In fact, thinking of our granddaughters, when they are doing something that makes people laugh, they KEEP on doing it, over and over...until someone cries Uncle and it usually isn't the kid!  

I miss that whimsical, happy-go-lucky, carefree feeling.  At some point we snuff it out because we are too grown up to behave like that. ~tsk~ What?  I've always had a good sense of humor and loved making people laugh, I put humor in so much of my day, it puts people at ease...most of the time.  I have had a customer on the line that I try something funny, a silly one liner to ease some tension and I hear crickets....so then I put my adult attitude back into play and move on...

But thinking back, in the banking industry, it is so dry, conservative, always have to look and act professional...well I get that, but we are talking to real human beings who have thoughts and feelings too and you never know what is going on with a person.  Why not be the laughter and sunshine in their day for just a little bit, who cares if you make yourself look silly?  If I've made someone laugh, it makes me happy!

Is it that I'm getting older and getting to the point where I really don't care what people think?  Who knows, but I've found that goof-ball girl again and I like her, I think I'll keep her around.

Musings of a modern day mamaw.

Trip of a lifetime!

Where is the one place you've ALWAYS wanted to visit?  When I was younger I always said it was Ireland (I suspect because of the Irish Spring commercials) then it changed to Australia and then Tuscany....but then I realized that there was so much of my own country that I haven't seen and started to think about where I would want to go if money were no object.  I would love to go somewhere in the New England states in the spring to see everything in bloom, the old marina towns and historical places, I would LOVE to go to Washington state and see the lagoon where the killer whales come and rub their belly's, like in Free Willie, I would love to go see the Redwood Forest in California, would love to get to Hawaii someday but my all-time dream trip is to go west to Arizona and New Mexico, to see the old west towns that were abandoned, to see the Native American Indians that still live and work out there and buy some of their handmade items like turquoise jewelry, pottery or Navajo rugs (even though my niece said they aren't very friendly to white people).  As a photographer I have always wanted to see the amazing canyons in Arizona that the wind carved through the rock and the pueblo style homes and blooming cactuses.  So our 30th wedding anniversary trip was going to be, going out west to Arizona and New Mexico.  Funny how the 30 year anniversary got here before the money for the trip did.

So, we are modifying and still planning an awesome, trip of a lifetime!  We are going to Colorado!  Staying with family to cut down on lodging and taking day trips to Breckenridge, Beaver Creek and Vail.  Hoping to catch something at Red Rock but at least going out there to say we have seen it.  I was in Colorado for a month when I was 16 and my brother took me to this Mexican restaurant that had a cliff diver INSIDE the restaurant, I hope to go back there (if it is still there, been a minute) and also want to show hubby the giant cross that is lit-up in the mountains as a memorial to some hikers that didn't make it out.  Maybe we can have a picnic up in the mountains near a stream and just enjoy nature like we don't get to see in Florida.  

It's not exactly the dream trip I have longed for but it is in the United States, in the west, in the summer, in the mountains, in a historical place, with lots to do and see and I get to take it with my very best friend, my confidant, my lover, the guy that always makes me laugh, the only person I trust implicitly with my life and the guy I've loved the most for over 30 years....that right there makes it the TRIP OF A LIFETIME!!

Musings of a modern day mamaw.

Sunshine and Philosphy

Today I finally got to have lunch and visit with my friend Vicki for the first time in MONTHS!  We had our traditional Christmas celebration...well, it's still February at least!

We had a lot to catch up on, she is in her last class before she graduates with her Master's Degree!  KUDOS and so proud of her for that!  We always laugh and usually cry as we share stories and memories but our visit is so alive and energetic!  We are in our own little world, even though we are in a restaurant full of people, and are very animated...I wonder what people think when they see and hear our conversations. LOL!

Then we stood in the parking lot talking and laughing forever.  We shared our philosophy for life and how we both CHOOSE to be positive and optimistic in our home and work lives and try to spread the same positive vibes to people we meet.  One of the things we talked about was how you could change your life by CHOOSING to...making a decision, whether it is deciding you aren't going to let yourself dwell in the hurtful past, hang around negative people or WORRY about things you can't change...ESPECIALLY if they are situations that won't happen for a couple of years (you know what I mean Vick) 

The point is, our minds are very powerful, more than we even know and understand.  You can change your life by simply changing your mind, changing your perception of things, changing you REACTION to things and so much more.  I've done it in my own life and I have watched her do it in hers, I told her I saw the "old" Vicki walk out the door and the "new" Vicki walked in.  She simply DECIDED she didn't like her life the way it was and made a conscious decision to change it and BOY does she radiate confidence and positivity!  I'm so proud of her!

I believe we never stop growing, learning and changing.  I am observant and curious, no one is perfect and really, who would want to be.  That would make life stagnant and boring.  I am always reading motivating and positive books and articles and listening to lots of podcasts by people with success stories in their lives, successful business people, athletes, creative people, philosophical people, life coaches, fitness coaches, singers, models, actors...you name it.  My friend at work and I are always sharing these same types of things as we find them and discuss them at lunch to bounce things off each other.  I LOVE getting perspective from all kinds of people and cultures, it teaches me and motivates me and feeds my creative mind!

I ended my day by catching some rays and working on my tan...in FEBRUARY!  ~smh~  I'm gonna grab it while I can, I expect that we will have another cold snap or two before we start warming up and moving towards summer.  I love the weather like it was today and wish it was like this year round! :)  Glad I live in a tropical state, I love it when it starts to cool down but don't like it to last for very long.  Time for a new bathing suit!  Hopefully shopping for one tomorrow!

Then totally threw caution to the wind and the hubby and I made a totally southern dinner, fried porkchops, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, milk gravy and bisquits!

Musings of a modern day mamaw.

The road to a better me and what I've learned so far...

Hello fellow wanderers,
I'm on a journey of sorts, a journey to find a better me.  I mean a better, healthier, more energetic, curious, creative, happy me.  I'm 55 and I am a firm believer that no matter what stage in life you are, a better you is just one decision away!  

Tonight I am only talking about health and wellbeing but I feel that way about every aspect in your life.  I have been reading and watching and listening to so many random podcasts and they are ALL giving me the same information!  It's amazing to me that I just happened to pick this podcast or read an Instagram post or turn the daily devotional page on my desk and they ALL, on the SAME DAY, give me the SAME information!  I gotta pay attention to that, someone is trying to get my attention!  The message is, "You can have anything you want in life, all you have to do is decide that you deserve it, are worth it, and are willing to work for it." (that is a paraphrase of all of them together but you get the idea)  The law of attraction....I'll probably get into more detail on this in another post.

Tonight, however, I am zeroing in on my health because I just took some "me" time and am feeling like a wonderful, warm, relaxed, noodle. LOL!

Something I've read recently is that so many of us are magnesium deficient and it is what is causing so many of our ailments.  

"The difficulty is that the symptoms of low magnesium can be general enough that they do not always point to magnesium as the initial problem. If left untreated, low magnesium levels can lead to chronic illnesses such as diabetes, celiac disease, epilepsy, migraines, and more."  healthyinfodaily.com

I recently borrowed a book from a friend all about this issue.  In one of our conversations after that she said her and her daughters take baths in epsom salts daily!  They buy it by the pound! (I think she said 30 pounds at a time!)  

Since hubby bought me a gym membership for Christmas I have been going twice a week and as I've said in a couple of fb posts, the young guy who first took my measurements I think has taken me on as a project and he raises my weights on the machines just about every time I'm there.  Well on Tuesday night he pushed me a lot farther than normal and I had such muscle fatigue I was quivering and restless for the rest of the night, no pain, just extreme fatigue.  I was so tired I didn't feel like running a hot bath with epsom salts in it, even though I KNEW it would help.  So...I decided to do it tonight and just chillax for awhile.  I floated in there with zero gravity, just breathing in the scented salts and trying to stop my brain from running 90 to nothing for quite some time.  I also did some really deep hip flexor stretches and was amazed at how much I could stretch and man oh man did it feel good!

Immediately after I got out I warmed up some water and took a magnesium supplement I bought from a health food company, just to give me a double-shot.  

I am currently sipping a tea that I have found that is awesome for your belly and gut health, it is a loose blend of cumin, coriander and fennel an additional green tea bag and a 1/2 tsp of honey.  This I have been doing mostly during the day but it and some ayurvedic supplements have regulated me, I've lost so much of the bloat I always struggle with and am noticing my clothes are fitting more loosely.  I actually have to wear a belt now with some pants and jeans!  The scale isn't moving and I'm trying like hell to ignore that and focus on the results that I AM seeing and feeling.

I wear a Garmin fitness band for a program at work and we are in the middle of a fitness challenge that we are in FIRST PLACE in right now!  The name of our team is..."Beer Gutz and Coconutz"!  What a riot!  Doing this challenge has made me increase my daily step goals and I've been exceeding them ALMOST on a daily basis.

All this is for me...I had quit paying attention to what I ate, stopped moving around and was gaining weight and feeling depressed.  I needed a change and the first thing was the gym membership.  I can't thank you enough honey! 

I am still in the beginning of my journey but today I started planning our 30th wedding anniversary trip in July and we are going to Colorado and will be doing a lot of walking so I consider myself..."conditioning" for it.  LOL!  Sounds silly but guess what, it's my life and I can call it whatever I want. :)

I'll be posting more info as I learn and my progress along the way, again, this is cathartic for me, the writing and the changes I'm making in my life, but if it helps someone else to make a decision to change, then I get a two-fer!

Musings of a modern day mamaw.

The lost art of storytelling...

Back before social media, cell phones, beepers, even house phones, the way people would pass down the history of their people or teach or even entertain, they told stories.  Stories of how their ancestors lived, loved, fought and survived. People communicated more with each other then than now, even though they may not have had transportation.  When they were together, they talked, traded things, shared and helped each other because it was the right thing to do and not to have an IOU for something they may want or need in the future.  Remember seeing on tv, (and some of you, maybe even not that) a neighbor needing to borrow sugar?  That was so basic, they helped each other build houses, barns, supported each other through grief and loss.  

I love the image of long summer evenings when people sat outside and talked and watched their children play and neighborhoods did fun things together and in my lifetime, even shopping centers did annual events together, the store managers all knew each other and met and planned sidewalk sales, sometimes with themes, and they had fun with it, the customers loved it and looked forward to it and it was a neighborhood event.  I even remember one where they hired a country western band to come and perform.  I don't remember the name, I do have a picture somewhere of me and my little brother standing in front of the stage, but what I do remember is that it was Tex Ritter's band, (he was John Ritter's father, from Three's Company.) That might've even been the name of the band....?

My point to all of this is that I wish I knew then what I know now...when I was younger but old enough and visited my parents in Vidalia, LA and had the time to sit and listen to their stories.  I know a few, but learned more once they were gone.  How I wish I had gone on a trip with them to see where they lived, went to school, played and fell in love.  There are huge gaps in their history that I have no idea what the story was and those that do are no longer with us either.

This blog is to share memories, experiences and life with whoever wants to take a moment to read it.  I haven't asked my sons to read it, I left it to them to choose, but hope they do.  We haven't sat down and shared stories either, oh they know a few funny things about their dad and his 2 brothers growing up or me and my 5 brothers growing up, but there are gaps there too.  I wish one of the things that stayed the same as the world changed was that families passed down the stories like the old days.  I'm so drawn to the way it was in years gone by, and miss hearing the stories Pop (my father-in-law) used to tell about Tennessee in his youth and love reading about the way it was in old Florida, and the other states that I have lived in.  

What are they going to say about our current world, say 50 years in the future, it seems like we are just walking on the surface of life and not really going very deep like they did when people rose before the sun and laid down at sun down but filled the hours in between with hard work, love of family, neighbors and country.  Of course I didn't live back then but from what I've read and what little I've heard, it just seems like we were stronger, happier and though life was hard for most, we came together in support of our country and it's leaders who are only human after all.

Newspapers...can you believe NEWSPAPERS are going by the wayside?  They used to be the best way to learn about what was happening in our world!  I can't believe it, in my lifetime, that it is slowly disappearing. And BOOKS!  I LOVE BOOKS!  I love to read and though I only read a book once, I hate to let them go.  I used to be able to trade with other readers or even have an outlet to take them to a consignment shop to sell but now days, they don't sell well so they really don't want them. WHAT?!  What will happen to the storytellers??

I bought my first audio book, not sure how I'm going to like that, I read at lunch most days too and always read at night...how is that going to work?  I don't think I like it already.

Anyway, some days, this blog will be a memory, a story to pass down and share with whomever wants to read it, my hope is that people will start posting stories of their own to share with me too.

Musings of a modern day mamaw.

Remember when...

Yesterday was Valentine's Day and all day I found myself remember some of our Valentine's Days of days gone by....I mean, I have 29 to think about. Here is how the evening started last night....

I pull into the garage and he opens the mud-room door, as soon as I open the door to my car he says, "Are you ready to go?"  HA!  Very funny...I come up into the house with my arms loaded with my tote bag, lunch box, mail and what have you and before I can even unload I noticed he was up to something.  He was all dressed up and smellin' righteous but it was the look in his eye and the fact that he scurried over to his recliner instead of kissing me like he usually does.  He says, "I got somethin' going on here..." and I can tell he wants me to hurry up and put my stuff down.  He is so cute when he is excited about a surprise for me!  So I dump my stuff and turn to him and he has the sweetest grin on his face, and hands me a Kay Jewelers bag!  I jokingly said, you just went in and bought the bag right? LOL!  Inside, I am so surprised, I can usually tell when he is going to do something like this but this time I was blind-sided totally!  So I reach into the bag and pull out a black velvet box and open it to see a beautiful, sparkling diamond necklace!  I can't even.....it blew me away!  If you know him at all...just think about him going into a store like that and coming away with this...I wanted the story!  

Our plan was to go out to dinner, I had been wanting lobster for awhile, hadn't had it in years, so we made reservations and I thought that would be it.  But when I came out of the bedroom yesterday morning, there was a card and the cutest, quirkiest, elephant stuffed animal with a heart pillow!  LOL!  He hasn't bought me a stuffed animal for years, and years!  There is a story behind this one of course, but that is for another day.

We had an amazing dinner, french wine and chocolate dipped strawberries and the best company, conversation and laughs!  And what topped it off is on the drive home we started reminiscing about some of the things we had done over the years to celebrate this day.  Each year we try to make it special and we take turns with who plans it.  

One year, down in Lake Worth, it had been raining a lot but we decided to go to Singer Island for the weekend.  I was so pale and decided to get one of those spray-on tans to give me some "beachy" color. I go, watch the video, put the lotion on my hands and soles of my feet and put the goggles on and let her rip!  I get out, rub the stuff in, get dressed and go about my business.  Little did I know that there must've been a crease somewhere behind me....uh hum....that held some of the liquid that didn't get rubbed in and it ran down the backs of my legs!  Oh yeah!  Did I look beautiful, walking down the beach and in the stores with my orangey-streaky-"beachy" tan!  But he loved me anyway! :)

Then one time, it was a weekday, but after dinner, we were buzzed and happy and didn't want to go home so we made a split second decision to find a hotel for the night!  Alas...we had no personal items or clean clothes with us!  So we ran into an Albertsons and bought travel sized, tooth brushes, tooth paste, soap, shampoo, deodorant....and anything else we needed and headed to the hotel.  Well we both had to go to work the next day so we had to get up at the butt crack of dawn to drive home, shower and get ready for work!  But it was worth it!! :)

Always take the time in your busy life, to celebrate your love and renew!  It makes a difference and is only a small part of our successful marriage!

The musings of a modern day mamaw.

Just wondering....

As we experience life and getting older, I keep finding myself looking back and wondering.... my parents had 6 kids, as each one of us started finding our independence and trying to decide what we wanted to do in our lives, did they agonize over leaving their oldest child behind in Tennessee as they moved the rest of us to Florida and he shipped out, far, far away?  I do vaguely remember them wishing they heard from him more often and the big boxes of goodies my Mom would send him over-seas while he was stationed at different Air Force Bases.  There was always a hunt for a box of cinnamon Dentyne, his favorite.  And lots of homemade chocolate chip cookies to remind him of home. (I think he told me they always arrived in crumbs but he enjoyed them just the same) And then when the next one moved out...did it feel like another piece of themselves was missing?  And the next and the next...they had 6 of us!  How did they stand it?  I was the only girl, did they worry and discuss my choice of jobs or boyfriends or what I was doing with my life?  They left me behind and moved with my two younger brothers to Louisiana because I chose to live with Mike...they didn't know at the time that I was engaged to someone they really didn't care for.  Then number 5 moved out and away and finally when the youngest went into the Air Force and shipped out....how did they feel?  How did they adjust...or did they take a big breath and smile at each other, and enjoy the peace because they had time to get to know each other alone again?

I don't remember one conversation with either of them about that but as we are experiencing these things and the joy of our son giving us our first daughter in love and 2 beautiful granddaughters, and our other son meeting someone special that he is planning a future with, I find myself wondering about them often.  And I feel the loss of each of them, too soon and too young all over again.

I wish I hadn't been caught up in my youth and trying to create my own life and had been wise enough to know I would miss conversations we never had.

Musings of a modern day mamaw.

The human body is weird...

Freak stuff happens to me at night...

Last night, about 12:35 (to be exact) I was semi-conscious and went to roll over in bed and felt a POP between my shoulder blades but a little higher and it took my breath away!  I couldn't move and felt panic start to crawl up my spine.  I didn't want to wake hubby so little by little I started moving to see what I could handle.  I ended up sort of plopping over to the other side and rolled out of bed.  Everything had stiffened up and it hurt like hell!  I gingerly walked, all humped over, to the bathroom to dig up some ibuprofen in hopes that it was a muscle spasm or something, as an after-thought, I grabbed the Aspercreme and tried to put some on the spot.  I put a glob of it on my hand and tried to reach where the pain was...no can do.  

I made my way back to bed and was awake off and on the rest of the night (as evidenced by the bags under my eyes) 

This morning I have better range of motion and tried stretching shoulders and neck to see if I could feel exactly where the pain was and it wasn't until I turned my head to the right....HOLY CRAP!  I know EXACTLY where the pain is...but still can't reach it.

Same type of thing happened to me many years ago, was lying in bed, a stay at home Mom at the time, hubby was leaving for work and leaned over to hug me goodbye and I heard a "SSSSS...POP!" and was in the most excruciating pain I had ever been in!  It took him literally 45 minutes to help me out of the bed, I was crying and no matter how I moved it was killer.  Ended up seeing a chiropractor friend 3 times a week for several weeks....(I don't think what he did helped, I think it was TIME that healed it) and ever since, I have hurt it in the same place over and over.  (one time I was in the shower, was going to shave my pits, looked over to see what I was doing and POP!  Happened again!) That time it was my neck and shoulder.

What the heck IS that?  I feel like I hurt this same spot another time, I remember this feeling. Is it a muscle, ligament....elastic band....WHAT?  

UGH, gonna be miserable sitting at a desk all day.  I never know what is best, ice, heat....vodka! (too bad I'm not a drinker, I would be feeling no pain right about now)  

Musings of a modern day Mamaw.

The day I went to get Glamour Shots as a gift for my hubby...

It was the big thing at the time, early 90's, everyone was going to do this photo shoot where they would put make-up on you and do your hair and give you different outfits to wear for a variety of poses.  I had been wanting to do it for quite some time and finally decided to suck it up, over-come my fear and get it done. 

My niece agreed to go with me so off we went...

I get there, they put tons of makeup on me and curled, teased and shellacked my hair until it was full and styled.  I felt like a million bucks!  They had me change my outfits and posed me with and without my glasses and it took a long time.  After we were done, my niece and I decided that since I was all gussied up, we might as well walk around the mall for awhile.  I asked the lady for something to help me clean the makeup off of my face and she said they had nothing but baby oil.  SAY WHAT?  I decided to give it a shot and at least remove the heavy foundation.  YUCK!

That finished, we strolled out of the store and into Burdines.  We used to like to look at the makeup and try different things so we were walking around the makeup counter and the Sales Clerk walked up and asked if she could help us.  I noticed that she looked at me funny but I was feeling like a high-fashion model, so I just let it slide.  She said, "Did you just get Glamour Shots?"  Man, my face lit up, "I sure did!" Smiling as big as I could!  She kinda smiled at me and walked away.  We left there and went to several other stores in the mall, the whole time, I was strutting my stuff.  

After awhile we decide to call it a day and go home, I had a blast, we always liked to walk around the mall and window shop.  It was quality time for me with her.

I get home and go upstairs to brush my hair out and take the makeup off.  Looking in the mirror in the bathroom, I picked up my hand mirror and looked at the back of my hair to see how she styled it and...."WHAT IN THE HELL DID SHE DO?!"  She teased my hair and curled it....and PARTED it down the middle and pushed it all forward and around my face!!!  Can you guess what was going through my head at that moment??? I wanted to KILL my niece for not telling me and letting me walk around the mall like some woman that thought she was all that!!!  I can feel the embarrassment even now!

THANK GOD we didn't run into anyone I knew....or maybe we did and they hid when they saw how I looked!  

Did I tell you I used to like my niece?  LMAO!  I still do, and still raze her about it....I can laugh about it today, but can you imagine?

Laughter....it's good for the soul. :)

Musings of a modern day Mamaw.

So, many years back, maybe early 90's, I decided to cultivate my love of taking pictures and capturing moments in time by taking a photography class.  Remember, this was in a time where we used film...remember that?  There was no manipulation of color, only light.  You might be able to manipulate a little brighter contrast, or make them sepia or black and white and maybe even make the colors a little richer by the developing, not by the camera.  You shot what you saw in the viewfinder.  Man how I loved taking my camera everywhere we went, I was a shutterbug for real!  By taking the course, I had "units" in different types of photography, like action, portraiture, nature, sports, photojournalism, and by touching on each of these I realized which ones I was drawn to the most.  I didn't like taking group shots of people because to direct them was agonizing for me, photojournalism, I had an opportunity to be in the operating room during a breast augmentation....NOPE, not for me, I didn't do it....I took lots and lots of action shots when the boys played baseball, even tried selling the 4 X 6 prints for $3 each.  Moms would come to me and ask me to take pictures of their sons and when I would bring them to the field and tell them it was $3, they wouldn't take it, they wanted me to GIVE them the shots.  Well dang woman, it cost me time and the money to develop these for you, if I would've know you wouldn't pay a measly $3.00 for a beautiful memory of your son's childhood, I would've just taken shots of my own sons and been quite happy.  People are funny...

So then I started entering photo contests, I placed in some, one got published, I was feeling good, until they started putting my shots that I did with film in the same contest as the ones that people with digital images entered.  How not fair that was, you could tell the colors were manipulated and all kinds of editing was happening.  Put those up next to my film shots that were beautiful, true shots and I didn't have a chance.  So I quit entering...

I resisted giving up my film camera and all of the expensive equipment my hubby had bought me over the years until it got harder and harder to find somewhere to have the film developed and by then, if I was trying to make some money at it, people chose the photographers with the digital cameras. :(

Hubby finally bought me a digital and I taught myself just the basics on how to use it, I have never purchased editing software, I use the free ones I can download onto my laptop and I don't pursue it as a side hustle anymore, it has lost it's shine for me.  Now, I take shots with my phone mostly, because we don't even develop them and put them in frames anymore.  But lately I have been thinking of doing a more artistic thing with it, just developing an idea now, but it might urge me to pick my camera up again and go for those Sunday drives where we just stopped on the side of the road and took pictures of old barns, cotton fields, old trucks rusting in someone's pasture...hubby always knew what I liked and would direct my shot sometimes, it was a fun thing we did together and I miss those times.

This is just one small thing in my life that I have seen change over the years, like no more house phones, getting a microwave for the first time and now they are on the way out, using a typewriter...kids don't even know what that is.  There are just so many things in my own lifetime that I would've never thought would go away...like phone books!  So can you imagine the things an 80, 90, 100 year old person has seen in their lifetime?  Blows my mind!  I would LOVE to sit down with someone of that age and talk about life in their earlier years and what they have seen change.  Technology must be terrifyingly foreign to them.  I see it in my work, people STILL don't use email and we have to mail documents to them, amazing!

I remember in the 70's, we all thought that by the year 2000 we would be in flying cars and wearing shiny silver suits.  Lights would turn on in our home just by telling them to and food would come out of some machine like in the Jetsons!  

I still can't figure out how our voice travels over the phone...life is an amazing journey of change and wonder. I can't imagine what it will be like when my granddaughters are my age.

Musings of a modern day Mamaw.

 I'm 55, out of shape and over-weight, the fashion industry would say I'm "obese" but I don't fit the definition in my book. "O-bese - grossly fat or overweight" I'm a loose 12 and tight 10, how do they get off calling me names?  But that is a topic for another day.  This is to explain why I asked hubby for a gym membership for Christmas.  I know, I know...New Year's resolutions that people never stick to...but I'm not a stranger to the gym or exercise, I'm just about 2 years separated from it.  

We have 3, beautiful, energetic little girls in our family now, 2 of which are our granddaughters.  I don't want to be the Grandmother that when they look back at memories of me, they see me sitting in a chair doing nothing.  I want to be the cool Mamaw that runs and plays with them, takes them places, gets silly with them, plays in the blanket fort with them...you know what I mean.  Well, I didn't have the stamina to do that.  I knew the only way to get it was to get back in shape, hence the gym membership.

I don't like the kind of gym that you walk into and feel like it's a "meat-market" with guys scoping out girls and visa versa...I wanna go, do my thing and get out.  So the first thing they do is a one on one to get your measurements and what you want your goals to be and so on.  I go into this little room with a young man who can't be more than 18 and he is nervous.  He tells me that this is the first evaluation he has done on his own...but then stumbles around explaining that he DID go through training and has done them before, only with a trainer in the room to assist.  I sit there very calmly and observe with new eyes.  Oh how I wish I had the nerve to really mess with this kid. LOL!  So he's measuring my arms and belly, he gets super nervous around my boobs and then he squats down to put the measuring tape around my hips!  LMAO!  There he is, a young guy, face to face with paradise of an older woman!  I wanted to twitch my hips or something!  His face was already red and he was moving quick so I knew he was embarrassed enough, but the little devil on my shoulder REALLY wanted me to misbehave and embarrass the crap out of him!  What fun that would've been...but I'm too nice and I let him go.  However, I think the little punk has taken me on as his pet experiment because he is almost always the guy that sets my weights on the machines and I swear he raises them every single time I go!  And one day, another guy took over so he could help someone new to the gym but when I was half-way down the line he looks at my new friend who I'm just chattering away with and says, "Are you pushing her?"  BRAT!  My new friend assures him that I am pushing myself, thank you!

I have been at it for 2 months now, I feel a difference in the way my clothes fit and see a difference in my tummy, legs and arms but I wish it would speed up the OBVIOUSNESS to someone that looks at me!  I need confirmation from an outside source to keep me motivated!  Unfortunately, people around me see me all the time and it's slow to notice like that.  Wish I was Jeanne and could blink my eyes and nod my head and be the firmer, slimmer me that I want people to notice!

The musing of a modern day Mamaw.

 It feels so decadent, taking a bath in the middle of a rainy day! My sweet friend made me some bath salts and scented it with sandalwood, bergamont, chamomile and neroli essential oils and MAN was that an awesome aroma! It made my whole bathroom smell yummy! I totally relaxed and was actually floating...the next thing I know I woke myself up snoring!  Ah well, these are the things that happen as we get older.  We have recently become empty-nesters and I was having trouble with it for awhile but am starting to get over it as I've made some plans for the boy's rooms that have kept us busy.  Today, we worked our tails off and finally got them back in order...it made me feel so much better!  Now the rooms are ready when they come for the weekend or someone stops to visit but I am very sore from all the lifting and pulling...hence the need for a mid-day soak!  I'm using this momentum to get other projects done that are long over-due.  Ever had a project so big you take a look, realize what it will take, and back out and say, "No way...not today." ?  Well I'm hoping we stay moving forward, I told him that once we get the house the way we want it, it should stay that way now that it is only the 2 of us.  One whole wing will be empty. :( Okay, that makes my house seem huge, it isn't but I consider it my castle so...

The other day a man came to the office selling tangerines and oranges so I went outside to have a look.  He handed me a tangerine that he had peeled and split for me and as I was eating it, suddenly, my right eye began to water, like running down my face, watering.  My hands and arms were dripping with tangerine juice so there was no way I could wipe it!  Right about that time, everyone else from the office came out to see what he had.  There I am, dripping tangerine juice, tears running down my face from one eye and then....I felt heat traveling up my body...like someone put hot coals underneath my skin.  I could feel it coming up my chest and it was so warm it was radiating heat that I could feel on my face...then the coals reached my face and the top of my head!  Man, did I feel attractive with all that going on and not a danged thing I could do about it.  I told the man I would take a bag, struggled to carry the heavy load into the office, trying not to get the tangerine juice on my work clothes or door handle...and stumbled into the kitchen to wash my hands.  When I took my glasses off I could see that the lens on the right side had tangerine juice all over it!  Well that explains that...you just never know because weird crap happens to your body the older you get.  I had finally started to cool down too but had to go to the ladies room to wipe the tears off my face and check my mascara. SMH I don't know what causes the hot flashes but it just seems like they strike at the weirdest, most inopportune times.  NOW I understand my Mom's frustration and why we nicknamed her "MissGodit'shot!"  I would even address my letters to her like that. LOL!  I am determined NOT to say that and invoke the same name, but I do feel like I'm roasting and could cook an egg on my skin.

Just the musings of a modern day Mamaw.